


Idiots In Not-Matrimony

by blarfkey



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cole is the perfect boyfriend, College AU!, F/M, Fake Dating, Tired Senior Students, socially awkward Sabine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27329803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blarfkey/pseuds/blarfkey
Summary: Sabine's gotten herself in kind of a pickle. Her partner for her semester project is starting to hint around about asking her out, which is a hard pass from her. Only telling him that would make the rest of the semester unbearably awkward and potentially damage her grade, so Sabine does the smart thing and blurts out that she already has a boyfriend.Only she does not, in fact, have a boyfriend.And none of her friends will fake date her until the end of the semester save for the one she least expected:Cole.
Relationships: Female Cadash/Cole (Dragon Age)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24
Collections: A Paragon of Their Kind Dragon Age Dwarf Exchange





	Idiots In Not-Matrimony

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sunspot (unavoidedcrisis)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unavoidedcrisis/gifts).



> I am addicted to this ship now, so thanks for that.

"You're serious. _No one_ can do this for me?"

Sabine's gaze hops from Bull to Varric to Krem as they all squirm or shrug.

"We're all taken," Varric points out, with a smugness that is frankly insulting.

"Your private school fuck buddy hardly counts as _taken_ ," she snaps.

"My private school fuck buddy is also the jealous sort and she knows how to make a bomb with chemicals from Walmart."

"Fine! Whatever! Since when did you get someone, Krem?"

"Last week. She's the voice major."

"The one who sings at open mic night every weekend?"

Krem grins broadly, twirling his straw around his drink. "Yep."

Ugh. Krem has been nosing around that girl for weeks. Sabine can't really be mad at him. But still. What shit timing.

Finally her gaze swings to Bull. "You know Dorian would think this was funny as hell," she almost pleads.

"Yeah the first time. You want this to keep going the rest of the semester, though. But hey, if you want, I'll just beat the shit out of the guy and then he'll leave you alone."

"I don't want that!" Sabine cries. "He's not a creep, he's just . . .got his hopes up."

"Look, I'll do it," says Sera with an eye roll. "Dagna's got her head so far shoved up her electron microscope's areshole she wouldn't even notice."

Sabine winces. "I mean, that would be great. Except, I told the guy I had a boyfriend. Specifically."

Sera shoots her straw wrapper as a spit wad right into Sabine's chest. "You're a fucking idiot,” she says.

"Yes. I am."

"I don't think so."

As usual, Cole appears with little to no warning, holding his tray the most random assortment of shit from the buffet bar. Today is exactly three baby carrots, one chicken wing, half a scoop of applesauce, and four slices of toast.

Sabine scoots over to make room for him.

"Why are you an idiot?" he asks, folding his long legs underneath the table.

"Because instead of telling a guy she doesn't want to go out with him, she made up a fucking boyfriend and now she wants one of _us_ to fake date her until finals to get this guy off her back."

Cole turns to her, wide eyed. "Is it the one in your engineering class?"

"Yes," Sabine groans.

"What's the reason why you didn't just tell him to fuck off again?" Krem asks.

"Cause he's not actually an asshole and also he's my partner for our semester project. I can't get another this close to mid terms and anyway he's the only other person _not_ a lazy moron. And if I tell him I don't want to date him, he's gonna get awkward as hell and it's going to make this project torture and I've only got one semester after this and I just want to get through to break without any freaking drama!"

Silence reigns awkwardly after this increasingly loud outburst. Sabine buries her gaze in her french fries, arranging them all by size on her plate.

"I'll do it," says Cole.

Sabine jerks her gaze up to him as Sera throws her head back and cackles.

" _You_ ," she says, wiping imaginary tears. "You couldn't find a pussy on a girl if she drew an arrow down her chest and you want to be her _boyfriend_."

Even though Cole never made it on the list of potential suitors -- it didn't even _occur_ to her to put him on the list -- Sabine feels a wide surge of protectiveness at Sera's caustic laughter.

There was nothing _wrong_ with Cole. He just seemed so innocent. And he said weird shit sometimes but so did Sera after too many energy drinks.

"I accept," she says. "I'll take Cole as my lawfully fake boyfriend until finals do us part."

"I do," says Cole, turning to her and looking incredibly solemn. 

Varric shakes his head at the two of them. "I can't wait to see how this plays out."

Honestly, neither can Sabine. She and Cole work out a plan for him to pick her up from engineering class each day and walk down to the coffee shop in the student union holding hands in front of poor stupid Dave until he finally gets the hint.

But Cole has never dated anyone before, at least not to her knowledge -- and trust her, Sera would have exploded with gossip had that happened. She doesn't want it to be obvious to Dave that she and Cole are just friends but how do you explain chemistry or romance to someone who never seemed interested in it?

The good thing about Cole is that he always has supernatural timing. Class dismisses and Dave keeps pace with her as she packs her stuff up and heads out, rambling on about some band that he thinks she would like.

"You sure you've never heard of it?" he asks. "Not even your . . .boyfriend showed it to you?"

He stumbles on the word boyfriend, as if he doesn't quite believe her.

The _audacity_. She'd be angry about it, except she totally was lying.

"Showed her what?"

She looks over to see Cole standing up from one of the little benches in the hallway, hand curled around his messenger bag.

Oh thank God.

"Hey . . .babe," she says, and winces internally.

"Hello, Sabine," he says, swooping down and kissing her cheek.

The kiss -- so smooth and so quick -- actually stuns her for a moment. Cole slips his hand into hers.

"That's . . .your boyfriend?" Dave asks hesitantly.

What the hell is up with everybody?

"No, I just let random guys come up and kiss me."

Dave's eyes get a little wide. " . . .really?"

 _Wow_ . He'd believe _that_ before he'd believe Cole was dating her?

"No. I'm her boyfriend." There's a hint of steel in Cole's generally neutral tone.

The two boys look at each other for a long moment, both of them towering over her. She feels a little like a scrap of food between two alley cats. Whatever Dave saw in Cole's eyes, it made him shift his gaze away.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he says to her, not waiting for a reply before waving and heading down the hallway at a pace one would call brisk.

"I'm sorry about the kiss," Cole says, turning to her once Dave is out of earshot. "I thought it would help but I should have asked you first."

"No, that was perfect," she says, squeezing his hand. “You are a beautiful and perfect human being. Come on, let's get you some ice cream from the bookstore. You deserve a treat."

He's almost too tall for her to get a proper look, but she thinks he might be blushing.

Cole is not only the perfect boy repellent, but he's also the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

He shows up to pick her up from class and from the library after her work sessions with Dave without fail. When it rained, he had an umbrella ready for her. When the temperature dipped low and the wind picked up, he had her favorite latte in a to-go cup.

The cheek kiss becomes a habit, as well as grabbing an ice cream sandwich in the snack section of the student bookstore. They take their treats and stroll around campus, watching the leaves turn, laughing at the squirrels that harass any freshman stupid enough to sit under the trees.

Dave mentions a movie coming out and hints about going as a group -- _you can bring your boyfriend along --_ so Sabine drags Cole with her to the theater and spends most of the movie with her face buried in his shoulder because Dave did not warn her about all the freaking jump scares. Cole smells so good, Sabine has to stop herself from drawing deep breathes against his shirt like some kind of freak.

Instead she conspires to steal one of his flannel over shirts, which he happily grants her before she even has to ask. The sleeves dangle comically past her wrists, the whole thing long enough to work as a scandalously short dress. The look on Dave's face when she walks into the library wearing it over her t-shirt and leggings is only the second best thing about it -- the first is the whiff of Cole's deodorant or aftershave or whatever the fuck he's got that hits her on occasion.

She ends up sleeping in it.

After a few weeks she starts forgetting to untangle their fingers as they walk off. Winter break looms 3 weeks away, the air has turned downright frigid. And Cole never wears any fucking gloves, so the least she can do is grip his fingers between hers and shove his hand in her jacket pocket.

Honestly she could probably stop fake dating him at this point. Dave has finally relaxed back into their previously chill camaraderie and his hints about dating her have disappeared completely. But part of her fears that he would use her feeling vulnerable and looking for a rebound as a chance to get with her.

And part of her doesn't want to stop. Cole brings her coffee and carries her backpack and holds the books while she browses the library and asks her about her classes and never interrupts her when she rambles on a tangent. Cole had always been an intuitively generous friend, ever since they partnered up in English 101, but never to this level. And he never has any complaints about any of it.

A girl could get used to it, is all she's saying.

The week of finals Dorian throws a party in the ridiculously fancy frat house his father pays for. After four years of parties, Sabine knows just about everybody that crowds in the rooms. Bull has the grill roaring in the back patio, despite the threat of snow and the frigid temperatures. Sera's taken control of the music that blares out of the thousand-sovereign stereo. Cassandra and Leliana have some kind of theological argument over the kitchen island.

Sabine is happy to curl up on the couch in the living room and watch.

"Do you want something to drink?" Cole asks her, hovering by the edge of the couch.

"Sure," she says. "Something cold and in a bottle."

"I know."

"I don't trust whatever moonshine Dorian got from the Dalish. The last time I drank that, I didn't remember the whole night."

"I know."

Of course. He was the one who walked her home that night. Or at least, that's what they tell her.

Some god awful throwback 80s music starts blaring from the speakers as Sera giggles. Cole winces as he steps past it, carrying her drink. Sabine smiles up at him, fondness blooming warm in her chest at the sight of his earnest face.

She takes the drink and then pats the section of couch next to her. Cole lowers himself down and she tucks herself in beside him, resting her legs across his lap.

Sera looks over at them and then pointedly rolls her eyes.

She mouths something at them but Sabine can't hear over the music.

"What?" she yells back.

The music cuts off abruptly.

"I _said_ ," Sera shouts, her volume unmoderated, "that you two can quit pretending, now! The semester is basically over and that one guy has fucked off!"

If this were a movie, you would hear the record scratch. Sera's voice echoes in the room, causing everyone to look over at them. Someone pokes their head from the kitchen --

It's Dave, looking very puzzled. Because of course he's here. Dorian fucking knows _everyone_.

She could _kill_ Sera. And judging from the frozen look in Sera's face, she knows it.

Think fast. Think fast.

" _Pretending_ ," she says, with an elaborate eye roll. "Does this look like pretending?"

Cole gets about half a second's warning before she crawls into his lap, slides her fingers into his hair, and pulls him into the best kiss she can give him without causing any kind of long-term trauma.

To her surprise, he doesn't stiffen underneath her, or freeze like a deer in the headlights. Instead his hands immediately fly to her waist and he kisses her back with breathless enthusiasm.

It's a little sloppy at first -- clearly Cole has little (if any) experience kissing. But that just further proves her point. His hand roams up her spine to cup the back of her head and her nails scrape down the side of his neck and only she can hear the little whimper that escapes his mouth from that and suddenly ---

Suddenly she wants very badly to drag him to a room upstairs and lock the door and see what other noises she can get out of him.

"Gross. _Gross_ !" Sera yells, in the background. "You've made your point! Andraste's _tits_."

The music blasts back on, startling Sabine into jerking away from him. Cole's wide blue eyes look up at her as if she had hit him with a frying pan, a flush traveling all the way to the tip of his ears.

Dave retreats back into the kitchen. 

It takes a long time for Sabine's pulse to stop pounding in her chest. And longer still for her not to keep imagining pulling Cole into a dark room, how he would feel underneath her thighs, what places on his body would make him gasp if she kissed or bit them. . . .

She spends the rest of the night _acutely_ aware of every sigh, every shift of his body near hers, every whiff of his cologne. It's almost unbearable. And yet she doesn't stray too far from him. Around midnight she can't take it anymore. She loudly announces that -- as a senior -- she's too old for these kinds of parties and she's going to bed. 

Sera makes sure to play Randy Newman's "Short People" as Sabine gathers her coat and Sabine makes sure to flip Sera before she steps out the door, Cole a shadow behind her. 

"You can stay, you know," she says as he slips his fingers into her hand, an ingrained habit she normally barely notices anymore. 

She notices it a lot, right now. How long his fingers are, how tiny her hand feels in his.

"I didn't even drink that much," she continues. 

"I know," he says. "But you shouldn't walk to your dorm alone at night."

Of course. Always looking out for her. 

They walk a ways down well-lit sidewalks to her dorm building that looms nearby. Honestly, she could have gotten an apartment. Not many seniors still stay in the dorms. But the money from being an RA was too good to pass up and anyway, the place felt like home now. 

The kiss plays in her head over and over again. Cole doesn't remark upon it, he doesn't act any differently with her, but she wonders if maybe she crossed a line. They aren't actually dating, after all. And they never talked about kissing when they set up this whole charade. 

"So . . .how badly did I traumatize you?" she asks, grateful for the snow on the ground to give her an excuse not to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"The kiss," she says, gut twisting. "I kind of sprung it on you."

"It didn't bother me," he says simply.

Thinking of how willing Cole has been to do any number of "boyfriend" things, she has to wonder if his judgement of boundaries is trustworthy or if he will simply do anything for her out of loyalty to their friendship.

She looks over at him, eyes searching for any sign that he's lying. But Cole has never really lied to her before. Honestly, it's like the option never occurs to him to lie, though sometimes he would probably have been better off if he did.

His eyes swing over to hers.

"Did it bother you?"

"No."

Well it did, just not in the way he meant it. She's still flushed from it.

"Have you ever kissed someone before?" she asks, the question bursting out in the awkward silence that stretches between them.

"No. Not since preschool but I don't think that counts."

Oh dear Maker that was his first kiss?

"Cole, can I . . .can I ask you something? You don't have to answer it. Really. But I'm curious."

"Of course," he says.

"Why haven't you been with anyone? You're a wonderful boyfriend. The dream, honestly. There would have to be someone on this campus who would love to have someone like you. I know some people just don't ever feel romantically about someone. Are you like that?"

There's a long pause of excruciating silence and Sabine worries that maybe she crossed a line.

"I didn't date in high school because . . .I don't think I was ready for it," he says slowly. "People are hard for me to figure out as it is. Dating just seemed . . .messy. And then I came here and when I realized I was ready, there was only one person I wanted."

She literally stops in her tracks at this confession, her hand slipping from his grip. 

" _What_ ?" she cries. "You _like_ somebody. Who? _Who?_ Holy shit, why would you agree to fake date me if you already were into someone?"

He gives her a faintly exasperated look. "Because it's _you."_

 _"What_?" 

She sounds ridiculous, squawking _what_ like an indignant chicken, but how else do you react to something like that? 

Cole. Cole likes her. Wants to date her. _Cole_. Sweet, quiet Cole who's always around when she needs him, who's carried her home when she's drunk and knows her favorite coffee order and --

Things start making a lot of sense. 

And yet it's almost unbelievable. 

"Me?" she squeaks. 

"You." How can he be so calm, so matter of fact when he's laying bare this secret he's apparently kept for four fucking years. 

"Why didn't you s _ay_ anything?" she demands, because yeah, what the fuck?

He squirms a little, shifts on his feet, eyes darting over her shoulder. 

"Because you always seem upset when people try to ask you out and I would never want to be like . . .like Dave."

She winces because, well, he's right. Sabine has always preferred to do the pursuing -- that way she's in control of who is trying to date her. The thought of some random guy she has no interest in coming onto her never felt flattering the way it has for some of her other friends. Just inconvenient. 

And because she and Cole fell so quickly into such an easy friendship, they never had that weird, slightly awkward time frame where she's deciding if she wants to pursue them or not. 

So of course it looks like, to Cole, that she would never be interested. 

"I -- honestly I didn't think you were even an option," she says. 

And maybe because it already sort of felt like having a boyfriend, the way Cole has always quietly doted on her, that she didn't consider him. 

A mistake, she's realizing. A mistake that should be rectified _now_.

"I know," he says, simple and heartbreaking. 

"But . . .you want to be, right?"

He looks at her, almost pained. "I like the way we are right now. Nothing has to change. This is good enough."

"Do you want to date me or not?" She crosses her arms.

His eyes flutter close. " . . .Yes. I do."

"Then date me."

His gaze snaps back to hers. 

"For real this time," she adds. 

"Alright," he says. 

A grin tugs at her mouth until it bursts free. She slips her hand back into his, stuffing them both into her jacket pocket. 

"Do you want to go to my dorm room and make out?" she asks. 

The way his eyes widen, you'd think she just offered him a thousand sovereigns. 

"Yes. Very much so."

"Then come on. I'm cold. You need to warm me up."

As it turns out, Cole makes all kinds of fun noises. 


End file.
